We are arming our children with cellphones to keep tabs on where they are and help us feel better about them being out in the world. No matter where they go, we are only a phone call or text away. While the i-phone was once too expensive to give to our children, it is now a basic backpack item. Along with the smartphones, comes social media and a whole slew of changing policies and algorithms that put our children at risk.
When someone uses Facebook from the cellphone (over 90% of users do so) Facebook displays the location of the user. I found this out quite by accident when I was making a thrifty purchase through a deals group. The seller was taking precautions and meeting me in a public place, however she was completely unaware that Facebook told me almost exactly where she lived!
I contacted Facebook directly and asked how to turn this feature off but they have not responded. You can turn off location information from your phone but your children are not likely to do this because it keeps many of their favorite apps from working properly.
Your children can be contacted from anyone on Facebook, even if they are not a friend. Make sure your children:
Keep all photos and posts available only to friends and not to friends of friends (under the who can see my stuff tab)
DO NOT RESPOND to any messages they receive from others they do not personally know. (even if they display a photo of another child)
Limit the posts they make and messages they send through Facebook from their cellphone.
Show you anything that looks a little weird or gives them a funny feeling when they see it. (Kids have great gut reactions)
In the mean-time, try contacting Facebook about adding a feature to turn this off. https://www.facebook.com/help/?ref=contextual
What is your goal in life? Would you recognize it if you were involved in a plane crash? Take a peek at this video and see if it rings true for you.
Now if you just can’t relate: I need to tell you a secret…IT’S OK!
Honestly, if wanting to be a better parent is not at the top of your list of goals in life..and you feel guilty about it…let it go. It means that you define yourself outside of the tasks of parenting. That means that you have even more to offer your child, because children learn by example. In other words, if you don’t put your children at the top of every list, and you actually have a desire to achieve things other than raising a child, you are teaching your child that the world has a lot to offer.
Now understand that some people DO put parenting at the top of the list. They have wanted children all their lives..some will raise as many children as they can. Some parents read every parenting blog and parenting book they possibly can because their biggest desire in life is to be a parent. The children they have are the biggest blessings in their lives. Guess what? Those parents get to live out their highest goal!
Yet even those parents who put their children above everything else often carry with them a huge burden of guilt. As they read each parenting blog, magazine, and book, they start to second guess themselves and often feel guilt about trivial things.
In order to be the best parent your child can have, you need to take care of yourself. Understand who YOU are and what makes YOU happy. Then you will have a gut feeling about what the best decisions are for your family and your child.
This is a brilliant program that every teacher would want to implement but can’t. The class pet is a dying breed, but this library is taking over in one area. They allow Children to come in and read to a therapy dog which anxiously listens to a child practice fluency skills by reading aloud to the animals.
If you are a teacher, or your child is allergic to dogs, you can also have a teddy bear tea day and have your child(ren) read to Teddy bears.
I’m pretty sure if you are alive right now you would agree with the title. I’m a little worked up with this entry so I may have to delete it later. I just read an “article” by a psychologist (I should have known) who claims..well here:
Like you, lots of parents are beginning to realize that with rare exception, the advice dispensed by so-called parenting experts over the past 50 years has been useless, counterproductive and even harmful. During that time, parenting has mutated from something people went about casually and confidently into a highly stressful endeavor (especially for women), and the mental health of America’s kids has plummeted. To top it off, today’s kids are misbehaving in ways that would have been unimaginable to a parent who raised children in the 1950s and before.
Seriously? First off, since this psychologist lists himself as a parenting expert on his own website, I guess he must be the “rare exception” to which he is referring.
Second, I agree with him that for many, parenting is stressful..but Mr. psychologist guy…this isn’t the 50′s! Woman are doing more today than they were in the 50′s. They are contributing, sometimes the only income source of the family, acting as taxi driver because schools don’t bus kids to activities anymore and trying to figure out what kind of food offered at the grocery store is going to be the least harmful to their kids. To make matters worse, PEOPLE LIKE YOU judge them and tell them they are doing things all wrong. I’m really angry here, can you tell? I think I’m actually going to use the “s” word here.
Yes, Mr.Psychologist guy. Stop making matters worse. Let parents trust their guts. Stop judging them and Shut Up!
There is a slew of informaiton out there about how to speak to your child about the tragedy that the world is morning openly on television and the radio. This is one of those moments that makes us feel a whirl of emotion. As parents we might question the whole of humanity. We might be angry at our government or our school system, and we might be worried about our own children’s safety.
Our children look to us for comfort and safety, but how can you be “the rock” when you feel unglued yourself?
HelpGuide.org has a great list of steps you can take to help yourself and your child throught this tramatic event. Remember it is ok for your child to know that you are human and that you have emotions.
The traumatic event or disaster may trigger or bring up unrelated fears and issues for you or your kids. Acknowledge and validate these concerns, even if they don’t seem relevant to you. When your child says they are afraid, acknowledge the fear and move on, don’t be tempted to tell them there is nothing to be afraid of and don’t ask them to elaborate on the fear.
Monitor television watching. Limit you and child’s exposure to graphic images and videos but realise that watching news reports of the tragedy with your children will give you a good opportunity to talk and answer questions.
Watch for physical signs of stress in both you and your child. The symptoms of traumatic stress may appear as physical complaints such as headaches, stomach pains, or sleep disturbances.
Sometimes bad things happen and they are completely out of our control. If you are an action taker, find a a group of other concerned parents and take action against this type of tragedy. Your older child might be compelled to do the same at her school.
While thousands of prayers are said for the families of those directly connected to this tragedy, I pray for every parent who fears for their child while trying to make them feel safe.
A Canadian study released in October shows scientific proof that more sleep makes for better conduct in children. This is another case of science that proves common sense. Sleep is a physical need. When our physical needs are met, even parents are better able to deal with “life.” Make sure your child gets enough sleep, and you are more likely to have a happy and cooperative child. I think you already knew that.
This article is a sad example of how bullying is effecting our children in the classroom. Two lessons can be learned from the article.
First, the D.A. Adriana Briggs, explains the reason encouraging your children to fight is not the answer to bullying: “You’re teaching those children that violence is OK and it is the way to solve a situation,”
Second, the mother reported that she had her no complaints about her child’s behavior at school. The lesson here, is don’t wait for a report. Make every effort to stay in touch with your child’s teacher and work as a partner in your child’s education. You may find that when you or your child have a problem, a friendly relationship with the teacher will be helpful,
I previously wrote about how bed-time is not the best place for reading. TV can suck the life out of you and your child. The various lights to the brain, can actually mess with the dendryte building in your child’s brain. Please read to your child in the living room and engage in the story of a book rather than the story a producer creates for you. It really is the better choice.
Bed time stories have traditionally been the time for a parent to sit with their child and enjoy a time in the fantastic world of fantasy together. This article about bedtime stories describes a study which found parents who prefer to watch television at the end of the night, but that is not what I am advocating here either.
Story time is exciting and stimulating and a wonderful way to spend time with your child. Saving it as the cue that the evening is over and it is time to regenerate our bodies by resting is really a shame. Instead, I argue, story time should be the desert just after dinner or the first part of the day.
Stories are full of adventure and they are read in character. They keep our attention, scare us a little and fill our minds with wonder. When one adventure is over, we can’t wait to start another..and another and our little ones often beg to hear “one more.” Bed time is rest time, a time to be still.
Instead of reading a book before bed, start a routine of three things for ex. brush the teeth, put on the jammies and say a good night prayer. What ever the task of three things, they should be routine and unstimulating. Keep story time away from bed time.